Today I am feeling vulnerable. I’m probably about four years old and in need of a hug. Tearful. Feeling sensitive. Wondering whether I should even be writing this. Far better to hide under a duvet with a cuddly duck. Or at least wait until I feel like a competent adult again.
What has triggered this? Sharing the deepest purpose behind the work I do on my About Me page. And then being quizzed about it by someone who cares about me very much but was concerned that it may not resonate with my potential clients.
It took a leap of faith for me to share it in the first place so this was tough. It’s easier to hide, to be professional. I didn’t want it to be questioned about it. It struck at the core of what motivates me on an emotional level.
I didn’t want to think about target audiences or ideal customers. None of that scary marketing stuff. And please don’t mention email sequences or lead magnets… I just can’t take it in…
It’s hard, isn’t it? We want to be seen for who we truly are. We want our tender hearts to be open. But why does it feel so bloody difficult, so exposing?
As creatives, we’re more likely to be sensitive souls. And the harsh language of marketing is sometimes jarring and difficult to comprehend so we block it out.
There’s a horrible irony about all of this, in that I’m currently co-facilitating an online programme called Storytelling for Self-Promotion, in which I am encouraging fellow creatives to show vulnerability in the stories they are sharing – and to share stories about their purpose.
And here I am, four years old with a cuddly duck in my arms, feeling something of what they might be going through – the resistance, the tenderness, the urge to stay in hiding, not feeling safe, leaving myself open to harm and judgment – all the negative baggage that the word vulnerability carries.
So the first thing I did was to remind myself of the words of vulnerability researcher Brene Brown:
Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose.
Boom. There you go. Only by diving into that pool of discomfort we call vulnerability can we find the courage to express our purpose.
But that pool can be icy cold or red hot. It can be full of tears, or rage, or fear – or all three.
On the other side is what we really want – to be seen and accepted for the unique human beings we are. And to connect with other unique human beings who value what we offer.
I am determined to find the courage to express my purpose. But I will also open my ears to the marketing gods who are telling me to think about my audience and the problem I’m solving for them.
Today I am feeling vulnerable. But I’m staying with it because I know there is treasure in that pool. Can anyone lend me a rubber ring?
Yes, I can. I can lend you the rubber ring I had when I was four. It’s red, and yellow, and has a duck’s head at the front. How perfect is that? And it’s still in the attic, so just give me time…
It’s painful, this purpose business, but it seems to entail returning to the tender places of our childhood. I think that’s because, when we were newly minted, we instinctively knew why we were here, what our purpose is. But, hey, it’s never too late to reconnect and repurpose our inner child. I’m with you every step of the way.
Ooh! That sounds like my perfect rubber ring! Thanks for your kind words of support – I will imagine you at the side of the pool, fluffy towel at the ready.
Oh yes, this is familiar territory for me. The struggle for authenticity and truth vs engaging with your audience vs colluding with marketing assumptions and cliches vs seeing off your saboteurs vs knowing what you truly want vs accepting what you truly want can change daily vs accepting all of the struggle is fine and part of the process. Ye that!
Thank you so much Rona – it helps to know I’m not alone in that pool! Sometimes it’s a whirlpool, sometimes it’s a calm pond. I’ve stayed with the discomfort – and fear of drowning – and I’m out of the water now.
Me too. I agree with Elaine & Rona, authenticity vs vulnerability is a universal struggle. For me vulnerability feels like being naked on stage BUT each time I share a bit more of my truth, show a bit more of my true self, what I get in return is compassion & empathy. All of which is life affirming.
And I absolutely love your about me page Bev, tender, raw and I’m sure it will really connect with your clients.
hugs, Lesley x
Thank you Lesley – you, Elaine and Rona have all proved your point, in that being vulnerable and sharing a bit more of my truth has resulted in a gift of compassion and empathy.