I am fascinated by words and their meanings – both original and contemporary. I like to look at words from all sides and reflect on their impact – on me personally as well as collectively.
Two words that have registered with me a few times over the past week are content and its close relative, contentment.
The French origin of the English word contentment dates back to the mid-15th century when it was used to mean “satisfactory payment of a debt”. Its modern meaning (a state of satisfaction with present conditions) can be traced back to the 1590s.
I’m currently writing a book about language and how we use it. As part of that process, I’ve put together a list of words that have impacted me in positive and negative ways over the course of my life. For the final section (words of wisdom), I decided on including contentment – as opposed to happiness or satisfaction.
Here’s what I had to say about contentment:
As Mick Jagger informed us back in the 60s, you can try as hard as you like to get yourself some satisfaction, but you’ll probably fail. Contentment, however, is not something you try to achieve – it just is. For me, contentment is the acceptance of what is without grasping for more – and finding the silver lining within.
Contrary to the picture I’ve painted with some of the words I’ve chosen, I have experienced great happiness in my life. But happiness, I find, is fleeting and often dependent on external events and other people.
Contentment, however, can be experienced in solitude. In fact, I believe contentment = solitude + gratitude.
Lockdown has given me the opportunity to look for silver linings, and I have found many. One of the biggest has been finding contentment in the act of writing, and reflecting on my life.
Contentment brings me back to my centre, feeling grateful for what I have rather than longing for what I don’t.
Buddha is credited with saying: ‘Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth’ – and life in quarantine has brought that home to me in a powerful way.
Rather than the pursuit of happiness, from now on I will focus on the calm cultivation of contentment.”
Contentment isn’t just for the older and wiser
I recently watched the latest Vogue magazine interview with Gen Z prodigy Billie Eilish, and right at the end a friend asks her this question: “If you had the ability to give one thing to everyone in the world, what would it be?”
I thought her answer might be freedom, or peace, or an end to global warming – but no. She replied: “I would give everyone the feeling of being content. I think that’s an underrated pleasure and that everyone on this earth deserves to have that feeling.”
This struck me as a mature response from a teenager. It often takes people years to achieve a feeling of contentment – and here she is, at 19, already showing sagacity beyond her years. But perhaps her meteoric rise to global superstardom has accelerated that journey to early-onset wisdom.
I also find it curious that she frames it as an “underrated pleasure”. But I get it – there is an almost sensual delight about feeling content – like the soft, delicate embrace of a cashmere blanket or warm spring sunshine on your cheeks. What if everyone on the planet could, just for a moment, feel completely content? What difference would that make?
A powerful reminder
On the very same day that I watched the Billie Eilish video, my Facebook memories offered up a status update from May 2011, which said: “I feel perfectly content.”
I’m glad I shared that feeling on my timeline. It’s worth remembering the moments in our lives when we feel perfectly content. I’d been married for just over a year and I was feeling happy and highly satisfied with my life.
However, that feeling of contentment didn’t last. Just over a year later, my marriage would be over. My journey since then has been all about cultivating contentment within, so that it’s not dependent on anyone or anything else.
Of course, I’d be quite happy if Someone Special came along to add to that feeling of contentment, but not so much that I would be relying on them to maintain that feeling.
So, I’m reflecting on what I wrote in the first draft of my book. Does contentment = solitude + gratitude? I think my answer, for now, is yes. If you can feel content within yourself, by yourself, and feel grateful for it – that’s contentment.
Constantly striving for satisfaction feels like a strenuous activity. Calm contentment feels like a tranquil pool filled with love and gratitude.
Satisfaction. Contentment. They’re just words – but they have such different energies and meanings. For now, I’ll accept Billie Eilish’s gift of feeling content – especially when I can’t get no satisfaction.
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