One small step towards fulfilling a dream for my great-grandfather

I believe that the work I was born to do is to help people find their voice, find their message and find the story that only they can tell. But I’m not so good at helping myself. I often lose sight of my self-expression and creativity – and consequently my dreams.

And that’s why I decided to attend Diane Leigh’s Dream Team Experience workshop. Diane is one of the most focused and dynamic people I know when it comes to living her dreams. She weaves dreams throughout her life and now helps other people do the same. (Read her book Dream Seed Magic to find out more about how she started to live her dreams at the age of 40.)

The other participants seemed to know exactly what their dreams were. I didn’t really know what mine was. Or, rather, I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it.

For the purposes of the workshop, I was obliged to share one dream so I decided it would be this: to travel the world helping people tell their stories – thus combining two of my passions (travel and storytelling).

We worked through some warm-up exercises before starting on our Ultimate Dream Seed Magic Declaration – an official-looking document printed on heavy gold paper that looked just like a contract.

This not only gave me three more opportunities to refine the wording of my dream but also to glean plenty of useful information such as what’s really stopping me (having to do it all on my own), what naysayers might throw at me (“How will you cope without a regular income?” “Will you be safe?” “Will you return?”) and what I’ll say to the naysayers in response (“It’s important to me to make a difference in the world”).

Perhaps the most surprising and touching moment was when I realised what was motivating me – or rather for whom I was doing this. It was for my paternal great-grandfather, Henry H Curtis – the only ancestor on either side of my family tree who has shown any ability to write.

Henry used to pen lyrical letters in beautiful copperplate handwriting to my grandmother and her sister when they went to stay with their aunt in the countryside while he and my great-grandmother Ethel remained in London.

From what I can piece together about Henry I gather he was a sensitive and idealistic soul who was involved in the early days of the Co-operative Society and sent his daughters to Socialist Sunday School. He believed in the brotherhood of man, of fairness and equality.

But one thing Henry didn’t have was good health. He suffered from a weak heart and spent much of his short life going in and out of hospital. He was only 41 when he died.

So why do I feel as if I’m chasing the dream for him?

Because he loved stories.

Because he never had the chance to see the world.

Because he believed in ordinary people and their subtle magnificence.

This story brings tears to my eyes. I think of it as my dream gift to him. But at the workshop, it didn’t make it any easier to work out what the first step was to achieving it – and we had to take that step there and then.

After going round in circles for a while, I had a chat with Diane and she suggested something simple like a mini-blog on Facebook asking for help, advice, suggestions. Even that seemed difficult and I could feel resistance coming up.

I felt vulnerable confessing my dream, even to Facebook friends. And even more exposed being seen to ask for help. This wasn’t easy, as I’ve suffered from chronic independence for a very long time.

So I did it quickly without much thought and put it out there. I was intrigued by the responses I got. Some people slightly missed the point, or put their own spin on it. But everyone had a kind word, a question or an idea to pursue.

I was heartened by the experience. Because, even if I don’t follow up on any of the suggestions, I have broken through my resistance, asked for help and received it.

And now my dream has evolved into: I believe in my dream to feel utterly alive in every moment while being paid to help people all over the world find their voice and tell their stories.

How this will happen, I don’t know – but I trust that if it’s for the highest good of all, then it will come to pass.

My declaration ends with these words: “I believe I am worthy of bringing my dream alive as the ultimate gift of love to myself, to my family and friends, especially to my mum and dad and to the memory of Henry H Curtis.”

What I’m taking away from all this is how powerful it is to speak your dream out loud – and then ask for help to start living it.

Do you suffer from chronic independence? Is a dream locked away inside you? Is there an ancestor you wish to honour? What’s your dream story?

Learn from my mistaken belief that I have to do everything on my own. As Diane says, asking for help is a sign of your strength. And help is always at hand – sometimes reaching across time and through generations.