Are you old enough to remember those ancient railway carriages that had compartments? You know, the ones with bench seats that, if you were travelling on the last train home, you would avoid like the plague in case a weirdo sat next to you?
Well, I do. I got stuck in one once and couldn’t get out – but that’s another story.
Compartments. You get stuck in them and can’t get out.
So why oh why, when it comes to self-promotion, do we allow ourselves to compartmentalise? I’ll have to plead guilty to this.
Here’s what happens.
I’m multifaceted. I’m an editor. I’m a writer. I’m a public speaking trainer. I’m a life coach. I’m a story archaeologist. I’m the co-founder of a personal storytelling event. I’m the co-host of a storytelling retreat. I’m the co-creator of Trailblazing Creatives. I’m a facilitator of online storytelling courses. I’m a Breath4Life Breath Work practitioner. I’m a Reiki Master.
Like many creatives, in order to avoid being seen as a generalist, I compartmentalise. The downside of this is that few people understand the breadth and scope of what I can offer. I’m not telling the bigger story of who I am and what I do. I’m not knitting it all together.
This was brought home to me at the spring edition of the storytelling event I co-host, The Story Party. My business partner Nicky came along and asked if I was going to promote our online programme, Storytelling for Self-Promotion.
I looked at her as if she was speaking a foreign language. I realised I had an unwritten rule – that I don’t promote my ‘other’ work at The Story Party, because it is a community-based, largely non-profit event and I don’t ‘sell’ there.
It hadn’t occurred to me to mention the fact that I was about to launch a storytelling course, even though some members of the audience would probably have been interested.
I’d compartmentalised again – with the emphasis on mental.
Most people know me as a former journalist turned public speaking coach and trainer who specialises in storytelling. Not many people know that I’m a qualified energy medicine practitioner specialising in Breath Work and Reiki. Why?
Because I rarely mention it.
Because it’s not my main source of income.
Because I don’t think everyone would ‘get’ it.
Because I compartmentalise.
I tell people what I think they need to know about me.
I tell people what I think is appropriate to the situation.
And they rarely get the full picture.
I remember feeling envious of an ex-boyfriend who is a photographer. It was his vocation – it’s the only thing he’s wanted to be since he was a kid with a toy camera. He has been extremely successful at it because he has dedicated his life to that one single focus.
But I’m a portfolio woman! I have always enjoyed doing several different things at once – variety is the spice of life etc.
This is all very well, but the worry is that I’ll be seen as a jack-of-all-trades, which is why I often define myself in narrow ways.
Does this resonate with you? I’m sure I’m not alone here. I’m sure I’m not the only one who compartmentalises but doesn’t want to get stuck in the compartment with the weirdo.
And the way to make that happen is to embrace all of who I am and what I do and communicate that effectively.
I’m a master communicator in the written and spoken word who wields the power of story to help you author your life. I’m also an intuitive master listener who can hear the story beneath the story and tune into the energy that needs to shift in order for you to move forward in your life.
That’s more of an all-encompassing version of who I am and what I do.
You could also call that my brand story – something we focus on helping people define on our Storytelling for Self-Promotion course. (I’ll be doing the homework myself this time!)
I was wondering how to conclude this blog when I came across a quote from Oprah Winfrey: “My biggest fear was that others would see me as arrogant. The last thing I wanted was for my actions to make me appear full of myself. I now understand that the true measure of womanhood is exactly what I’d avoided for so long – to be filled with all of who I am.”
Perhaps this is the key to why we compartmentalise – to avoid being perceived as full of ourselves – when the answer is to celebrate our fullness. Let’s all focus on telling the whole story and living a full-carriage life!
So true, Bev. I find people get a blank look of incomprehension when I tell them “what I do”. Lots of people want to define everyone else easily by job. This becomes tricky when you have more than one job (or perhaps nothing that you consider a job!). I’ve started asking new people I meet “How do you spend your time?” It produces much more interesting results than “What do you do?”
Hi Tanya – glad the blog resonated with you! Asking “How do you spend your time?” is such a good idea – I’m going to try that in future. We should not be defined simply by the work we get paid to do. There’s so much more to life – and us – than that.
Hi Bev, thanks for sharing your experience, Your blog really resonates with where I am right now; I like variety, just as we experience different seasons, I’m definitely a portfolio kinda woman and often find myself multitasking, because I CAN – that’s how life experience has shaped me. So whilst the end goal is transforming stress or pain to a positive experience, I can achieve this through many different routes.
People seem baffled at how much I ‘do’ and ‘offer’, Which can become quite confusing. I have a full time job, and also run my own business. The common thread is Health & wellbeing. I tend to tell people what service I can offer appropriate for the season and situation that presents – I engage with people in the moment’, but they never quite get the full flavour.
Perhaps it’s because medicine and therapies are compartmentalised to specific conditions? This is often my biggest challenge – breaking these patterns of treating labelled disease. My experience of achieving wellbeing is very simple, live attuned with the seasons – Nature provides the prescription for healing.
Looking forward to attending your storytelling event to find a way to overcome these barriers and express who I am and what I do so that audiences can better understand my offering.
Hi Gee – so glad it hit the spot! Yes, I recognise the curse of multitasking – especially excellence in that area. You are super-capable but I can see how this becomes confusing to people who are trying to understand what you offer. They want you to fit in a box and you don’t. I think you’re right about the nature of disease – it is categorised and compartmentalised so people’s mindset about illness reflects that. I look forward to supporting you in finding the story (or stories) that bring it all together in an elegant, accessible way.
I think we’re already stuck in the compartment with the wierdo.
Only the weirdo is us!
Very timely post, Bev. I was just reflecting that my ‘niche’ is so niche it doesn’t have me in it. I am not present in the stuff I am putting out there, certainly not in the way I am present when I am working with people.
Discussing this with a friend the other day, she remarked that millenials just don’t think like this. They don’t think it’s wierd to do lots of different things and to be a complex mix of things. Yet we’ve been SO conditioned to label ourselves, to focus, to have a ‘target market’ and, as you point out, some of us just aren’t made like that. No wonder we’re not being as magnificent as we are capable of if we keep hiding bits away.
I think the pressure to label ourselves is to make it easier for others to understand us, to save them the effort of thinking hard and making up their own minds about us. Well, f*ck ’em. They’re going to have to work harder from now on because they’re getting the full, unvarnished Colin from now on.
Hi Colin – thanks for your wise comments. We are the weirdo – I love it!
Yes, careful of that niche – it might not be big enough for all of you. I look forward to seeing more of the full, unvarnished Colin!