We all do this, don’t we? We often don’t say what we really mean or feel because we’re afraid of being rejected. Of course, there are times when it is better to keep our counsel, but more often than not we demean ourselves by holding back. We’ve all met people who don’t engage their brain before opening their mouth, but are they so wrong to be so honest? Is it more that we can’t bear to hear the truth?
The reason I identified so strongly with Holden’s prayer for courage is that, as well as a life coach, I am a writer and editor. For the past 30 years I have earned a living through editing other people’s words as well as my own. While I hope I have added some finesse along the way, the editing part of my brain has proved to be a mixed blessing – especially when it came to my own creativity.
More often than not, I would edit too early – in my head, before a word had emerged on to the page. I would dismiss much of what others may have deemed eminently publishable. I stopped creating and became a shadow worker – buffing up other people’s work, making them look as good as possible. Invisible mending, I liked to call it.
I’m over that now, and write freely and as honestly as I possibly can. The posts that I write here every day are as close to my unedited truth as I can get. My next challenge will be to do as Robert Holden does – get up in front of a group of people and respectfully speak my truth – without my inner editor or, indeed my inner people pleaser, getting in the way.
Before I do that, I’ll need to get some advice from those who have trodden this path before. What are my beliefs around this? Speak out and you’ll be noticed. Speak out and people may disagree with you. Speak out and put your head above the parapet. Speak out and turn up in the world. Speak your unedited truth and be of value to others. Some work to do there, then – but definitely no editing.
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