Looking back, I realise that life is a big learning curve. I could have been the author of these words but no, they were written by my mother who, at 85, is a senior citizen in the true sense of senior – i.e. wise.
She was writing in answer to the question: “What have you learnt during your life that you would like to pass on to a younger person?” which I posed to her a few weeks ago.
I first came across this question on the inspiring website The Legacy Project: Lessons for Living from the Wisest Americans, administered by Karl Pillemer, a professor at Cornell University, and wrote about it in a post called Why we must listen to the wisdom of elders.
When she understood why I was asking her the question, Mum embraced the challenge. She continued:
Education is so important – enjoy being taught not only by your teachers but also your parents and older members of the family. Enhance your knowledge by reading as much as you can.
Mum left school at 15 and, even though she had a limited formal education has never stopped being curious about the world. She can hold her own in a debate about current affairs, gave a speech last year about power and politics to a citizenship group at her local branch of the University of the Third Age, is an active member of a book club, and reads out and records the content of text books for visually impaired students at Swansea University.
To say I am proud of her is an understatement. I can only hope that I continue to have such a thirst for knowledge well into my 80s. Mum – and Dad when he was alive – instilled in me a love of learning that is one of my defining strengths.
The events and happenings that occur at different times of your life mould your standards, values and strength of character.
And this is another quality that I have inherited from Mum: resilience and the ability to withstand the challenges of life.
Accept that you might make mistakes but it’s up to you to make things work out the way you want. It’s called accepting responsibility!
She has produced three children who have all taken on responsibility in their lives and dealt with it capably.
Life will bring you much happiness but also great sadness as well – the latter emotion will mean heartbreak but this is when strength of character helps you deal with it.
I noticed she mentioned strength of character twice. Mum had to develop it after her mother died after developing a brain tumour at 51, then years later seeing her husband suffering a devastating stroke at the age of 46. That was the heartbreak for us all but she became the absolute rock of our family.
Remember the circle of life goes on…
Mum is nothing if not philosophical; she’s had to be. I’m grateful to her for sharing her wisdom, and for showing me the way to negotiate life. If I get to her age, I hope that my perspective will be as useful to others as hers has been to me.
The narrative arc of a long life contains such valuable information: I can only reiterate my recommendation that anyone reading this asks their mother, father, grandparents, older family members the same question.
Listen to the wisdom of your elders; there be gold in those OAPs.
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