Deep listening with the ear in your chest

 

I was lucky enough to be invited by Dr Mark Atkinson, founder of the Academy of Lifestyle Medicine and creator of Human Potential Coaching, to assist on his first workshop of the year.

This was my first opportunity to co-facilitate, and what a privilege it was to witness the personal breakthroughs made by the individual participants. By the end of the fourth day everyone had reached a place of deep insight and stillness.

At the end of the workshop we all had the opportunity to offer each other some heartfelt feedback about personal strengths – something we could all do with more of.

I’d like to share with you a simple process we did in pairs that is a great way of deepening the connection between people. I can recommend doing this at first with a partner or friend but it could be done equally well with someone you don’t know at all.

• Sit opposite each other and do your best to maintain eye contact throughout.
• Decide which person will speak first.
• If you are the listener, drop your awareness into your heart and imagine you are resting in a deep, spacious field of receptive awareness. This will allow you to really hear and receive what your partner is saying.
• If you are the speaker, think of a challenge you have overcome In your life and spend about five minutes describing it to your partner.
• As the listener, you are simply listening with presence. Do not interject or otherwise interrupt your partner.
• When the speaker has finished, reflect back to them the essence of the story and all the qualities you have noticed that they were able to call upon in overcoming that challenge. Do so without giving advice or trying to fix the situation.
• The speaker will hopefully feel truly heard and validated and the listener will experience more empathy and connection.

We often can’t see our own strengths and this exercise is a simple way of allowing a partner or friend to reflect them back to us. Plus it makes everyone feel good!