My sacred schedule dictates that I must write a daily post. It’s late because I’ve been at an all-day gathering of like-minded souls who are on a similar path.
We learned a lot about ourselves today; my discovery was that there is a part of me that feels the need to get the answer right and another part that likes to be right all the time. There is a difference.
The part that needs to come up with the right answer is afraid of looking foolish. The part that likes to be right is afraid that actually it might not know anything at all and thus will be found out.
The fact that I get really annoyed by people who think they’ve got all the answers is a sign that there’s part of me that thinks the same, and it’s hiding in my blind spot.
There were layers of fear, guilt and shame around these selves, and even now I’m feeling vulnerable at having them exposed. But I’ve taken the first steps to integration.
Acknowledging parts of us that we don’t particularly like can be uncomfortable. Most of the time we don’t see them as part of us at all – they are often reflected back at us by other people who act as mirrors.
Think of someone you know whose behaviour gets on your nerves. Whatever it is that’s triggering off an emotional response in you is also a part of you that you’re not acknowledging. It’s a tough one, this – but it reaps rewards.
I’m feeling a little delicate now because I’ve looked a couple of parts of myself in the eye and I didn’t particularly like what I saw. But unless I embrace them they will return to the shadows and sabotage me so I’m reluctantly welcoming them into the light.
Sacred schedule fulfilled, I will see you tomorrow.
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