My story of transformation through the power of community

It was at one of the very first sessions that I asked for some feedback on my brand-new website. I told the group that I’d been a journalist for more than 30 years and was looking to reinvent myself as a life coach.

I remember a dialogue with Nick that went roughly like this:

Nick: “So, you understand what makes a good story?”
Me: “Well, yes, I suppose I do.”
Nick: “And you know how to write a headline?”
Me: “Yes, that’s part of my job.”
Nick: “And you’re about to throw away years of experience working on newspapers and magazines?”
Me: “Well, if you put it like that perhaps it’s not such a great idea…”
Nick: “So could you teach us about writing great stories?”
Me: “I suppose so, although I’m not sure how I do it…”

And thus it was that I realised how much I knew about storytelling, editing and what makes a good story, but had no idea how to unpack it so that I could teach it to others.

At that very same session, Tracy, one of the community members, wanted to tell a story that was key to the work she was born to do, but found herself unable to speak without bursting into tears.

Nick suggested I could help her and Tracy was keen so we agreed to work together and report back. (Tracy became my first story mining client: watch her testimonial here.)

When I was checking in at the next community meeting, Nick had a light bulb moment: “I know what you are,” he said. “You’re a story archaeologist!”

This not only struck a chord with me but fitted with my idea of mining for stories, so I began to describe myself as a story archaeologist rather than a life coach or human potential coach. It was a conversation-opener rather than a conversation-stopper.

But if I thought my new role would be as a coach and writer, I was wrong. At the end of May 2012, I attended a public speaking workshop for community members facilitated by Sarah Lloyd-Hughes of Ginger Training & Coaching.

I casually mentioned to Nick that I was planning to volunteer for one of the two-minute speaking slots at the end of the evening. But after stumbling through the group exercises and feeling self-conscious about sharing a message, I froze when Sarah asked for volunteers to come forward.

A knowing glance from Nick nudged me into action, but the walk from my chair to the front of the room seemed to last forever. I spoke, without rehearsal, about how I had been performing all my life and that this was the first time I had shown up as myself. At the end of my speech, I burst into tears.

This breakthrough propelled me on a new path to speaking my truth, and I booked on to Ginger’s Speak Like a TED Talker course.

Meanwhile, Nick threw down the first of many gauntlets: to come up with a presentation and deliver it to the community at the June 6 session of the Brilliance Incubator. I accepted the challenge and began planning a talk entitled Mining the Story Within. I was forging ahead.

And then the bombshell dropped. Two days before I was due to give my talk, my husband – who is 22 years younger than me – announced out of the blue that he had changed his mind about wanting children. Not only that, he wanted children with a woman of his own age. Oh, and he wanted to move into his own place as soon as possible.

My whole world had imploded in an instant. But despite being in a state of shock, I made the decision to go ahead with the talk. I told Nick and Niki what had happened and asked if one them would jump in if I wasn’t able to continue, and they promised they would.

In the end, it wasn’t necessary. I sailed through the presentation and had amazing feedback from everyone in the room – none of whom would have been any the wiser about what had just befallen me.

Nick congratulated me for stepping up to the plate and said I had displayed an amazing centredness. It was a huge boost to my self-worth, just when I was in danger of disappearing into a black hole.

The subsequent months were emotionally bleak and I would have found it difficult to cope without the support of the community.

Meanwhile, Nick and Niki were cooking up a new challenge: to present a 45-minute session on storytelling for entrepreneurs at Niki’s online business mastermind sessions.

I accepted, of course – their confidence in me helped to break through any resistance I might have. The resulting mini-workshop, The Story Revolution, was well received and convinced me I was on to something.

Even better was Nick’s feedback. “You have all the raw material. You are brilliant at editing, you are now learning to teach – so you are at a great new threshold and I’m happy to support you,” he said.

Now convinced about the power of story, Nick and Niki invited me to become Inspired Entrepreneur’s storyteller-in-residence, an honorary role that saw me interviewing members of the community.

Meanwhile, I had embarked on Ginger’s six-month Inspiring Speakers programme. Here I found another supportive community of people who applauded my authenticity and saw the magic in me when I wasn’t feeling very magical inside. I was being propelled into a brand-new direction by the sheer force of goodwill.

One of my highlights of 2013 was delivering a very personal 10-minute speech at the Inspiring Speakers Gala Finale, which won the People’s Choice award. I was becoming increasingly visible and Nick – who was one of the judges that night – was there to witness it.

Shortly afterwards, Nick invited me to present a story mining session on his Miracle Brands weekend: another step up for me as a newly minted public speaker and group facilitator.

The next step was the biggest yet: Nick asked if I’d like to present a one-day masterclass with him. Given all the baby steps that had brought me to this point, it seemed a natural progression.

Finding the Plot: Telling Your Story for Entrepreneurial Success took place that September. It was a joyful experience for me, not least because working with Nick was so effortless. I had to pinch myself, though, that just two years after I’d first heard Nick speak, here I was co-facilitating a workshop with him. And in November that year, I found myself sitting next to Nick on the judging panel for another Inspiring Speakers Gala Finale.

Since then I have been helping Nick find the gold in his story and he has been helping me gain clarity around my signature work. He’s a great mentor and I’m proud to call him a friend.

In June last year, Nick and I delivered our second story workshop – Unearth and Share Your Leadership Story. As I introduced myself to the group, I told them I was standing in the same spot as I had been two years previously, when I gave my very first public talk at a time of great personal challenge.

There was a feeling of completing a circle – or perhaps bringing home the treasure at the end of another hero’s journey.

I took the advice Nick had given during that online summit in 2011 and didn’t wait until I felt good enough. By taking baby steps and showing up time and again, I climbed a mountain – with Nick as my spiritual Sherpa. Now I’m not only a story archaeologist but also a public speaking trainer for Ginger. What a view!