I’m something of a sucker for true-crime documentaries, so last week I watched Netflix’s latest, Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel. The central story is about the disappearance of Elisa Lam, a 21-year-old Chinese student who stayed at the hotel in 2013. But there are other narrative threads: about the history of the hotel itself (a dark one); the area adjacent to it in downtown Los Angeles (Skid Row, home to hundreds of homeless and other “lost” people); and a bunch of internet sleuths who took it upon themselves to investigate Elisa’s disappearance.
Spoiler alert: Elisa’s body was eventually found in a water tank on top of the hotel. There are many lingering mysteries and conspiracy theories surrounding her disappearance and death – none of which I’m going into here, but I’d recommend watching the documentary, even though it has been criticised for exploiting Elisa’s story and not interviewing anyone who knew her.
What touched me the most about the series was its final frames, which showed some of the comments left on Elisa’s Tumblr blog after she died.
“Without a doubt, you have left your mark here.”
“You’ve touched many lives, Elisa, probably even saved a lot of people too. You give me hope.”
“Knowing you, now I know… someone understands me.”
“I will not forget your story. I promise.”
Her Tumblr is still online, and has even had posts added to it since her death (apparently she liked to schedule content months in advance). From what I’ve seen, she used it as a confessional space to reflect on herself, her life and particularly her battle with depression (she was later diagnosed as bipolar).
I found her words (as narrated by an actor in the documentary), and the comments of others, so poignant. I even hesitated before I clicked the link to her blog, as if I were treading on her grave.
Her words are her legacy – and they are still helping people, seven years after her untimely passing. Today’s lost and lonely are finding themselves in her story.
For me, this was another reminder of the power of words and how consequential they can be – even in the confessional outpourings of a depressed 21-year-old.
The eternal sunshine of your spotless posts
It also made me feel wistful about our digital footprint and what we leave behind on the internet, even before we die. I, too, still have a Tumblr blog – most of which is now archived on my website. Then there’s a MySpace account that goes back to 2007, and all of my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram posts, which will be there in perpetuity, should anyone wish to find them.
That’s why it’s perhaps unsurprising that Generation Z are busy making wills – partly as a result of the pandemic, but also because they recognise the importance of making arrangements for their “digital afterlife”.
I doubt poor Elisa ever thought about the long-term impact of her writing. But maybe we should. Maybe we should give more thought to our digital legacy.
I can only hope that, when I’m long gone, someone might read my writing and find themselves in my story. Meanwhile, I’m off to make a digital will…
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