Last month I wrote a post about the return of the Up Series – the pioneering documentary strand that began in 1964 and followed the lives of 14 Brits from the age of seven, revisiting them every seven years.
The first part of the latest instalment, 56 Up, was screened this week. I was struck by the fact that there had been less drama in the lives of the participants since they appeared in 49 Up and those profiled seemed largely happy with their lot.
Even Neil, the cute, chirpy Liverpudlian kid who wanted to be an astronaut at seven but was derailed in his teens and twenties by mental health issues, seemed more at peace with himself at 56 – even though he is still a “scratchy malcontent” (as perfectly described by Allison Pearson in the Telegraph) and his years of homelessness have given him the weather-beaten look of a much older man.
He even ventured his opinion on happiness – “Perhaps we’re most happy when we’re not aware of it” – and mused on the delights of friendship before admitting that he didn’t much want to live past the age of 70.
Neil’s solitary anguish aside, the participants were mostly enjoying a new lease of life as grandparents or following their passion (former teacher Peter is now having some success as a musician and university administrator Sue is a member of a local amateur dramatics group).
There were only four female participants in the series (an oversight by the producers) but you can already see that the years have been kinder to them; the men looked resolutely grey and middle-aged.
The most touching moments for me were when the editors fast-forwarded through someone’s life, cutting from child to grandfather in less than a minute. Who can say how these vivid flashbacks impact on the participants?
I felt a sense of relief that, despite the hurt, anxieties, challenges, marriages and divorces, so far they have all pulled through and have reached a plateau of contentment. They are, at least, still all alive and none (apart from, perhaps, Neil) seems to have serious health issues.
The message of hope – given that all of these people are just a year older than me – is that if you can deal with what life throws at you through your teens, twenties, thirties and forties, you have a good chance of getting to a place where you’re comfortable in your own skin.
This has certainly been my experience. Watching the programme, I start imagining what I would have had to report if I’d been one of the 14. At 49, I probably would have been wearing a coping mask – having a good time on the surface but hiding the fact that I was unhappy, living alone, still getting involved in unfulfilling relationships and having a tough time going through the menopause.
Unlike most of the actual participants, in 56 Up I would have had quite a story to tell – turning a corner at 50, meeting my future husband, getting married for the first time at 53, and qualifying as a life coach at 54. But, like them, I have arrived at a place of calm, peace and balance that at times in my life I thought would be beyond my reach.
Let’s hope the contentment continues through to 63 Up – and certainly every major survey conducted about such matters indicates that happiness does indeed increase with age, if health is maintained. After all, there must be some consolation as the flesh weakens.
But as the Up Series continually and poignantly underlines, there is nothing quite so compelling as real life.
Leave a Reply