In 1988, Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin’s anthem to happiness – became the first a capella song to reach number one on the Billboard Hot 100. And while many may remember it as a slightly annoying ditty with a bit of whistling, the fact is that McFerrin’s lyrics are brimming with psychological insight. And it’s worth pointing out that the title was inspired by a quote from Indian mystic Meher Baba.
In every life we have some trouble/when you worry you make it double
Buddhists have been telling us for many years that worrying is like praying for what you don’t want. Science is now backing this up, with recent research linking worrying to heart disease.
Here, I give you my phone number/When you worry call me/I make you happy
Multiple studies have confirmed the positive correlation between social support and well-being, even the virtual kind.
Cause when you worry/Your face will frown/And that will bring everybody down
One of the most fascinating discoveries of recent neuroscience has been mirror neurons, which fire when we observe behaviour in others – ie the expressed emotions of others triggering a reflection of these emotions in us. So don’t frown, it’s contagious.
Put a smile on your face
And get everyone’s mirror neurons firing. Sometimes it’s called faking it till you make it, but I prefer acting as if. If you don’t feel happy, smile anyway and your brain will start to believe you are. There is plenty of evidence that consciously changing our thoughts and behaviours to emulate the emotions we’d like to feel helps us embody these feelings.
Don’t worry, it will soon pass/Whatever it is
In 1983, a seminal paper was published by an American psychologist which indicated that we grossly overestimate the negative impact of events that befall us, from cancer to divorce to paralysis, and return to our previous levels of happiness shortly after these negative events take place.
So I’m with George Harrison here – All Things Must Pass; but when tragedy does strike, show compassion to yourself as well as others, allow emotions to arise and flow, and don’t store them away to be dealt with at some future date. However painful the emotions are when the challenging event happens, you shall reach your happiness set point again, whatever you believe at the time.
My top tip for dealing with worry is simple. When an anxious thought enters your mind, stop and take a deep breath. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true? Do I absolutely know it to be true?” Nine times out of 10, the worrying thought will scuttle away, unable to to justify its existence.
Then drop your awareness into your chest, and imagine breathing in and out of your heart. Say quietly to yourself, “I am heart.” Then you’ll know what your heart wants for you, which almost certainly is to stop worrying and be happy.
This post owes a debt of gratitude to the brilliant website Brain Pickings www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2011/09/23/bobby-mcferrin-dont-worry-be-happy-neuroscience-psychology/
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