As I walked along the station platform I spotted a young woman dressed in the sort of short shorts I could never have worn, even at her age.
She was all long, coltish legs and porcelain skin, balancing on the edge of a cold metal seat while applying black eyeliner.
When I boarded my train, there was another woman, barely into her 20s I would say, who was busy smothering foundation all over her face and neck.
Both were pretty, fresh-faced, dewy with youth and had lovely skin. I cannot understand why they felt the need to apply any kind of mask.
What story have they bought into about needing cosmetic help to modify their appearance?
Twas ever thus, I suppose. I forget that I was once one of those girls. The idea of leaving the house without some kind of make-up on my face horrified me.
For me the essential modification was lipstick – to plump up and colour lips that I had deemed thin and mean-looking.
For my friends it was mascara, kohl or rouge – that one piece of masking that we thought made us acceptable to ourselves, each other and the outside world.
It’s so sad. I look back at photographs of myself when I was younger and see that I was beautiful and did not need the dark eyeshadow that I plastered on up to the brow, or the plum lipstick. But I didn’t believe it then. I thought I wasn’t enough au naturel.
Now I want to tell these younger women that beauty comes from within – but they probably won’t believe me either.
We all bought into one of the great advertising stories – one based on lack. The story goes that women need to be improved and fixed in order to be attractive to a man. The entire beauty industry is based on that story – that lie.
OK, I’ll admit that I still wear a little make-up – gloss to stop my lips from drying and powdered foundation to “even out my skin tone”. I’m afraid that all those years of reading beauty articles in women’s magazines have planted deep roots.
I wish I could go back and tell those two girls that not a single man with whom I’ve had a long-term relationship thought I needed to wear make-up.
It’s a myth that men find cosmetically enhanced women more attractive.
So the moral of the story is: be careful which cultural myths and advertising stories you’re buying into. They lurk around every corner – usually on a very large billboard.
Don’t be seduced by stories that sell you a lack of self-worth.
Oh I sooooo agree with you, Beverley! I never have worn much makeup myself, despite having a Saturday job on the cosmetics counter of a large department store, as a teenager! I think it’s criminal, the way young girls – and increasingly young men too – are sold the idea that they can “improve” themselves by using a particular brand of whatever. A more empowering message would be: “You are already perfect – and if you want to paint your face, then that’s fine. But don’t expect that you will become a better / more attractive person as a result.” 🙂
I’ve always had an instinctive reaction against make-up. I think it’s because I have a deep-seated thing about truth, and it seemed dishonest somehow. Mind you, applied sparingly and expertly it can be very effective. But no point in my life would I have been happy in a relationship with someone who slarted it on all the time. Plus, it smells funny. So there. 😉
Super story Beverley. I was just talking about this to someone recently. I used to plaster my face in make-up when I was a teenager and my brother-in-law often asked me why I did this as I didn’t need it. I hardly wear make-up now and prefer not to. Over the weekend I was served by two really beautiful young women with drawn on eyebrows and false eye-lashes which they really didn’t need, infact I feel it detracted from their natural beauty and I often see women running and swimming with full make-up on! Jx
I’m glad I struck a chord with this one! Julia: I love your empowering message. Tim: thanks for the male perspective. Joan: I’d like to say I can’t believe that women run and swim in full make-up but sadly I’m not that surprised. The campaign to reclaim natural beauty starts here 🙂
Great article Beverley!
It reminds me I had the most bizarre experience recently at a cosmetics concession in well-known department store. I wanted to buy some foundation cream and so I asked an assistant for help to select the right shade.
“Take a seat here,” she said, pointing to a stool. I wasn’t rushing about that day but David and I had arranged to meet an hour later and in the meantime I had a few errands to run.
Anyway the assistant started by cleaning my face with a wet-wipe. Then the real work began!
She cleaned my skin with a ‘special’ cream cleanser. As she was doing that she asked me how often I used a facial scrub. ‘Mmmm not often,’ I said. ‘So when was the last time you used one?’ she asked. ‘I can’t remember,’ I said – ‘months ago.’ She had a look of sheer horror on her face – as if I’d admitted to not have a shower or bath since Christmas. ‘You should use a facial scrub every week,’ she told me. Then she showed me some grains of what can only have been fairy-dust that that she told me I should mix with the cleansing cream that she had used. ‘Tomorrow,’ she said, “is my day for my facial scrub.’ I kept a straight face thinking ‘you must have a really empty life if you are able to calendarise your facial scrub.’
Next it was time for the magic serum which was quite nice actually! Moisturising cream came after that – two types one for my face and a different one for under my eyes. ‘Under the eyes you should only use products designed for under the eyes,’ she told me as she looked at me gravely.
Then eventually came the foundation cream (the product I’d asked for). She used a special brush for that. ‘Don’t put it on your hands she told me – it get’s absorbed into the skin on your hands when you do that. – you need to use a brush.’
At this stage I’m envisaging a scene from the movie Love Actually – when Rowan Atkinson is in the role of a shop assistant – he’s wrapping a gift and it’s taking forever. Just when you think he’s finished he adds another flourish.
Normally I’m pretty impatient but I was curious and bemused as I sat there on my stool.
And so she continued – next she decided I needed a bronzer to even out the tones……. that was followed by blusher …….and then some eye shadow. On top of all that came the translucent powder so that my face wasn’t too shiny – God forbid!
The final flourish was some lip balm followed by lipstick.
At last I was complete!
Meanwhile the assistant had written ‘a prescription’ for all the items that she recommended for me.
‘Thank you – I’ll take the foundation please,’ I said. She flashed me a glare – which was considerably worse than the one that owning up to not having a regular facial scrub day attracted!
Now I must admit I haven’t got a problem with people buying these lotions and potions so long as they don’t take them too seriously. When we’re buying them to build our self-esteem that’s a problem. I like to wear make-up when I’m dressing-up – it feels like part of the outfit – but I can’t be bothered with it everyday.
So I agree – don’t buy into myths that suggest that these products are necessary in order for you to be acceptable or lovable or worthwhile. They are not. But if you enjoy being glamorous sometimes – that’s great too!
I am reading and commenting on this subject months after your original post, Beverley, but couldn’t resist. I am now 52 but had an awakening of sorts in my early 30’s. I remember thinking what a waste of time it was to apply makeup every day. I decided it was deceptive to pretend I looked other than the way I looked. I looked fine then and I look fine now. I will wear some light blush and lipstick when I’m really sprucing up for a special occasion. It was one of the most liberating decisions I ever made in my life. I just saw an article about a very prominent celeb. in the U.S. going out shopping without makeup on. She looked very confident and comfortable in the photo. It got me thinking that I hope she is starting a trend that young women will follow. Thanks for this post!