Regular readers will know that I’m a journalist as well as a coach, and therefore I keep tabs on what’s going on in the newspaper world. I try to maintain a distance from the worst excesses of the tabloid press but I still get sucked in by the seductive pull of Mail Online, the rampantly popular “news” website.
I say “news” because much of the content of the site is not news as most of us would define it. The majority of stories are heavily steered by invisible editors to fit a particular agenda.
One startling example of this not-so-hidden agenda appeared on the site yesterday, when one of the lead stories was a piece written by a journalist called Samantha Brick posing the question: “Why do women hate me for being beautiful?”
You might wonder why a story written by a non-celebrity would gain so much prominence on a celebrity-driven site but it was clear to anyone who works in the media what was really going on here.
Samantha, for whatever reason, had allowed herself to be set up. I’m not going to make any judgment about her appearance, but never has the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” been more pertinent.
Thousands upon thousands rushed to judgment by commenting on the piece, telling Samantha in no uncertain terms that she was deluded. Many thousands more – some of whom should know better – tweeted about it.
The invisible Mail editors (mostly male but some female) sat back and watched the catfight commence – because (I think it is fair to say) the most vitriolic comments came from other women. The spectacle of women tearing chunks out of each other is a sport they seem to enjoy.
The resulting social media frenzy gave the Mail a front page story today and the number of hits on their site has earned them many thousands of pounds in advertising revenue.
The Mail is extremely successful at tapping in to women’s dark side – the bitchy, gossipy, nasty, competitive mean-girl that we all have within us. Its editors are skilled at finding women writers who will stick the knife into other women.
Allowing this side of us to express itself without restraint is one of the ways in which we undermine ourselves. Being gossipy and bitchy about other women is a spectacularly effective way of giving away our power.
Sometimes it really does seem as if we live in a misogynistic society – in which women do a great job of hating themselves. The only hope we have of redressing the power balance is by valuing our feminine strengths, individually and collectively.
The mainstream media isn’t going to make it easy, so the responsibility starts with each one of us. Every thought you have, every tweet or status update, shapes the world. And I don’t want to live in a world that hates women.
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