As I was sitting at home this morning, gazing at my bookshelves, my eyes fixed on the distinctive blue and gold spine of A Course In Miracles. After a minute or so, I felt moved to pick it up and open it at a random page.
It fell open at Lesson 152. The opening paragraph reads as follows: “The power of decision is my own. I cannot suffer loss unless it is my own decision. I cannot suffer pain except my choice elects this state for me. I cannot grieve nor fear nor think I am sick unless these are the outcomes that I want.”
I love the way books reveal their wisdom in this way – every time I’ve done this the page has contained a nugget of gold with which I totally resonate. Right here, right now, I am in pain. So the idea that it is my decision to feel this way is liberating. Because if that is the case, I can choose not to feel pain.
Although this concept is hard to cling on to when a wave of emotion hits and threatens to overwhelm, it really is a life-saver. Here comes the pain again – feel it and let it pass without clinging on to it.
Some of the leaders in the field of self-awareness and personal development whom I admire the most – including Robert Holden and Nick Williams – actively study A Course In Miracles.
Wikipedia describes this hefty tome as “a self-study curriculum that aims to assist its readers in achieving spiritual transformation” that includes lessons about applying the practice of forgiveness in one’s daily life.
And if there’s one thing I need to learn at the moment that is it: to forgive myself and the imagined cause of my pain. I say imagined, because no one can cause me pain unless they inflict a physical wound. It’s my choice to feel emotional pain. If I believe I am nursing a wound that will not heal, then that is my reality.
The power of decision is my own.
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