Yesterday, I took another step towards turning my wounds into wisdom. It might seem strange, but after touching on an intensely personal story about my father’s devastating stroke, I now feel more alive. On the way to a family get-together, I visualised a jack-in-the-box that had finally been let out, exploding into the air with a smile on its face.
I decided to show my mother what I had written here. She read it carefully and made a sage comment about how we were all deeply affected and dealt with it in different ways. It was healing to share this with her, as for so many years I would not talk to her about what happened to my dad for fear of upsetting her.
We even agreed that, had Dad not suffered the stroke, I may not have developed the character traits I now possess: resilience, fortitude, compassion, empathy and the ability to be self-sufficient.
I’m so grateful that the passage of time has allowed us both a different perspective on this life-defining event, as well as the ability to be philosophical about it.
I remember Mum telling me years ago, after Dad’s stroke, that it was better to enjoy life to the full while you can because everything can change in the flick of a horse’s tail.
I understood this on a deep level and internalised it. However, rather than interpreting it in a positive, empowering way I used it as a reason to avoid intimacy and commitment for fear of another loved one being wrenched away from me.
Yes, life can turn on a sixpence in tragic ways but also in joyful ways. In fact, meditating on that fact can be liberating. If you are stuck in a bad place right now, know that this too shall pass. Your life can turn around in one dramatic moment, an epiphany if you like. That, surely is the gift disguised in dark wrapping.
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