Yesterday I talked about writing to heal and how cathartic it can be to put down on paper the life experiences which have affected you the most. This is particularly important for those of us approaching what Jane Fonda calls the Third Act – life beyond 60.
In an inspiring TED talk posted this month, the well-preserved actress says: “I have come to find that an appropriate metaphor for ageing is a staircase – the upward ascension of the human spirit, bringing us into wisdom, wholeness and authenticity. It turns out that most people over 50 feel better, are less stressed, are less hostile, less anxious. We tend to see commonalities more than differences. Some of the studies even say we’re happier.”
One of the things that has given her peace of mind is conducting a life review, which psychologists agree can give new significance, clarity and meaning to your life.
“You may discover, as I did, that a lot of the things that you used to think were your fault, a lot of things you used to think about yourself, really had nothing to do with you,” she says. “It wasn’t your fault, you’re just fine. And you’re able to go back and forgive them, and forgive yourself. You’re able to free yourself from your past. You can work to change your relationship to your past.”
This type of life review can be conducted at any age but obviously the older you are, the more powerful it is. On a retreat last year, one of my assignments was to write my emotional autobiography, describing every event I could remember that had impacted on me in a lasting way, recording the associated emotions.
As you can imagine, this took some time – but as I waded through my early years, teens and 20s, I started to realise that the act of writing was allowing me to revision my relationship to these events so that the old emotions were no longer triggered. The result was a greater feeling of peace and self-acceptance.
But back to Jane. “Older women,” she says, “are the largest demographic in the world. If we can go back and redefine ourselves and become whole, this will create a cultural shift in the world, and it will give an example to younger generations so that they can re-conceive their own lifespan.”
As she concludes, perhaps the task of the Third Act is to finish up the task of finishing ourselves.
Leave a Reply